well sh!t

wow so THAT resolution went well. 

sorry about that, folks.  this past week was a bit crazy, and i didn't blog like i promised i would.  man.  maybe i need a NEW blog, about getting my sh!t together as a blogger!

so let's see.  it was a very busy, very stressful week, but one that ended up ending well.

i got the news from my property manager on monday that the d-o-double-g had been reported again, and that they were going to need me to bring in PROOF of her weight (backstory: my condo has a 35 pound weight limit for pets.  i have a 70 pound pet, who i've been trying to pass off as 35 pounds.  WHY i would do this is another story entirely).  anyway, i got the call, and decided i couldn't perpetuate this deception any longer, and spent a couple of days a) in a full blown meltdown about losing the pup and b) steeling my nerves to go tell the truth to the property manager.

(you may or may not know what daisy means to me - she was with me through a tough marriage, and the falling-apart thereof, with me in my first-ever living-alone apartment, with me on a cross country move for a new relationship, with me in a strange city where i had no friends but massive personal upheaval, and with me when i hung my head (and my heart) and moved back across the country, to yet another living-alone home.  she's been my shoulder to cry on for many tear-filled nights, by best buddy on early morning walks, she's listened to all my hopes and dreams, and she's never once not been beside herself with joy when i come home.  if a dog can be a soul mate, she's mine.)

anyway i spent some days and sleepless nights trying to figure out what to do - i cried more this past week than i have in months.  losing her means losing a part of myself that i'm not ready to give up.

so, long story short, i sat down with the property manager, told her the truth, braced myself for the worst...  and got kindness and compassion where i was expecting anger and judgment.  how about that?  she was so understanding, and more angry at the person who complained about me than she was at me for breaking the rules.  the end result is ultimately the same - namely, daisy can't stay here, but she is giving me all the time i need to figure it out (and even offered to "pet-share" daisy with me, part time at her house and part time at mine!).  i still can hardly believe it.  (note to self - be kinder and more forgiving than people expect)

so that explains my evenings - more full of angst than of blogging.  i hope you forgive me.

but i also had some awesome times this week - i got free tickets to see jewel in concert (and even got the meet & greet passes, so i got my photo with her) and had the greatest date night ever with my girl ACE.  my new book club had its first formal meeting, and we're reading the book i chose (whose (gorgeous) author i got to meet and listen to read earlier in the week) (gods without men, by hari kunzru, if you'd like to read along).  i rode my bike to work 4 out of 5 days, did a 10 mile run yesterday, rode my bike today...  and i learned some lessons about receiving love in unexpected ways from good friends. so all in all, it was a good week.

(oh and i ALSO discovered the greatest breakfast EVER - smoothies :o)  8 oz skim milk, 1 scoop vanilla whey powder, strawberries, frozen cherries, frozen peaches.  Yow wow. no sugar, you'll notice, but SO INCREDIBLY DELICIOUS).


ok quick inventory:  weight this morning was 195.5.  i hope by next weeked i'll be at that magical number of 194 which will equal my first 20 pounds lost... 

finances- nothing new to report.  BUT i have a real financial question that i want your help with - please seriously think about this and give me your advice:

so my options with the dog are 1) give her away, 2) share her or 3) move somewhere where we can both live.  i honestly can't imagine not having her with me, so i'm strongly considering #3.  i'm thinking about moving out, renting out my condo, and living someplace else for the next year (or longer).  i can probably find a relatively cheap apartment in the neighborhood, and if i can rent my current place out furnished, i bet i can rent it for about $1500 (possibly more?) per month, which would cover my mortgage and hoa.  then if i found a cheaper place, i could actually make a profit with the condo, and use that money toward my debt.  challenges would be obvious - namely, moving, but i have a few offers of furniture already, and i'm sure i could round up plenty of friends to help with the logistics...  so it doesn't seem impossible.  also, i feel like i'm in a much better place emotionally, where being in my beautiful and safe and and OWNED home isn't as critical to my well-being as it was when i moved in, so i feel like i can live in a smaller rental place and be much more ok with it that i would have been earlier.  also i'm not SELLING the condo, obviously, so i'd still get the tax benefits etc.

it makes me incredibly nervous, leaving my stuff in a place where strangers will sit on my couch and sleep on my bed and put their things on my shelves.  but ultimately, it's just stuff, right?  but i have so much OTHER stuff, i wonder where i will keep all the things like books etc if i'm in a small place.  will i have to get a storage unit?  but my housing line item is the largest in my budget- cutting that in half would be HUGE in helping me get my financial sh!t together.  there are pros and cons...  please help me think through it!

(also, just for the record, i KNOW i should have thought this through earlier, like before i got the condo in the first place.  i've berated myself enough about that already, and need to just figure out how best to move forward now, all things being what they are.)


of course my FIRST choice would be to keep daisy here with me, and not move, so if you're the praying type, you might offer that (seemingly impossible) request up on my behalf.

(also, in related news, we go back to the vet a week from tomorrow to re-check bloodwork- some sketchy results last time suggest all kinds of unpleasant possibilities.  fingers and paws crossed that the medicine she's been on for the past 3 weeks has helped.  if it hasn't, and it turns out she's sick, that may impact the situation as well).


thanks for your help, and for cheering me on...  daisy says thanks too ;o)