more steps

i did a stair climb today - 56 flights up to the top of the republic plaza in denver.  holy. cow. that is a LOT of stairs.  it was hard, i'm not going to lie.  it took me 19:22 from start to finish...  the fastest woman did it in under 9 minutes.  i had to stop quite a few times to catch my breath- it was HARD!

several things came to mind during the event.  first of all, it was a fundraiser for the american lung association, and i have to tell you, it really helped me understand the struggle that so many people face with asthma or other lung diseases.  although the trek was hard, i knew it was going to end at the top...  i can't imagine struggling to breathe every day.  my sweet grandma lived with COPD in the final years of her life, and it was painful and scary and just simply heartbreaking to watch her constant fight for breath.  i'm grateful for the health and strength that so many wish for.  i never want to take it for granted.  and i don't want to compromise it any further.

secondly, my beautiful and skinny friend did this with me- she works out much less than i do, and hustled up those stairs like it was nobody's business- i know my weight is holding me back from excelling at physical activity.  it was embarrassing, and very humbling. 

on the other hand - doing it slowly is better than not doing it at all, right?  we were all so proud of ourselves at the top - with our medals on and that amazing feeling of accomplishment - i LOVE it!!  (if you know me, you know how i feel about medals - if you don't, i will tell you.  i love them.  i NEED them.  i refuse to participate in an event that doesn't give them out (or else i will provide my own).  i love the weight around my neck, and i love the permanent record of my achievement.  i keep all my medals together, hanging up on a rack in my closet (heck, let's do a photo...  hold please)

they make me so happy.  they are arranged chronologically - you can see my first chicago marathon one on the far left - and they go through the one i earned today on the far right.  they make me proud - but more than that, they remind me of amazing times shared with friends.  each one brings a fond memory to mind and a smile to my face).

anyway.

after i got home from the stair climb (and after the 3 hour nap that followed), i went through my race list for the rest of the year.  i'm already registered for a few (a 7k in 2 weeks, a half marathon in april, another one in july), and there are a LOT more i have on my list.  i LOVE races.  i'm never a contender, i'm a solid middle-of-the-packer.  i never race to win, but i love it nonetheless.  crossing the finish line is one of the greatest feelings in the world, i don't care if i'm first or last (note: i have actually finished last in a race.  it was just as awful as you imagine it would be, with most people gone, and them taking down the tents, and all the bagels being gone...  but i honestly didn't care.  it was the hardest thing i had ever done, and i was SO proud that i finished it.  even if my boyfriend at the time was convinced i was dead in a ditch). 

anyway.  my race list.  there are a lot of things on it, and man, i want to do them well.  i want to be a RUNNER.   i want to be a TRIATHLETE.  i don't want to have to stop and walk.  i don't want to win - but i want to finish strong, i want to not be embarrassed, i want to be proud of my photos at the end.  and i know that to do those things - i need to lose weight.  there aren't a lot of 200+ pound marathoners out there.

so i'm starting again tomorrow.  my plan for the week is to not eat sugar in any form - real or fake.  i'm also going to start p90x on march 1st.  i'm ready to stop feeling like a failure- thanks for cheering me on!